The first law in choosing your maid of honour is to go for someone who pays attention to details, level-headed and rational to help with planning, if your sibling or in-law who has been applying for this role doesn’t fit the bill, find somewhere else to fix them, you don’t want a liability as a maid of honour. Do you?
First, understanding the role of a maid of honour is important to know, as this is one of the most important people (besides you) in your wedding. She should be a person close to your heart, as she will be your extra life line who will help you in times of need during the wedding planning process.
Some Maid of Honour Duties includes:
-She will be a constant ear and the person to bounce design ideas off.
-She will help to organize parties surrounding the wedding like the wedding shower and the bachelorette party.
-She will help with wedding DIY (do it yourself) projects.
-She will assist you with tasks such as setting up your bridal registry and honeymoon preparations.
-She will be the one to bustle your dress at the wedding in a short period of time, as well as pick it up when you need to go the bathroom and arrange it when you are at the altar.
See also, 8 wedding traditions you can break.
Here’s how to tactfully choose who you really want standing by your side on the most important day of your life:
- FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU NEED
You need to define what you want from a maid of honour. Are you looking for a help mate during the wedding planning process? Or you merely want to use the position to honour a close friend or sibling? If you really want your maid of honour to take charge and plan an epic bridal shower or pack the perfect welcome bag, seek a friend who is organized or crafty. If the role is a title, not a job, you may lean toward whoever is closest to you, no matter her skill set.
- CHOOSE A GOOD LISTENER
You want to have this person know you well, and also be someone who can listen and pick up on your real wants and needs. That way, all the small details of your wedding shower and bachelorette will be the best reflection of you, and not what the maid of honour happens to think is cute.
As much as your best friend may not be living close to your house, choosing a maid of honour that lives on another continent is like asking for ice cream in the middle of a blizzard. Choose someone that can be there, and not have to miss major events like dress shopping and cake tastings.
- CHOOSE A SOCIAL BUTTERFLY
The maid of honour who likes to socialize and is comfortable being in larger group settings will make for smoother bridal party planning. Being able to happily communicate to the group about dress fittings, registries, and bachelorette party ideas will definitely take a load off the bride in knowing the maid of honour got her back.
One of the biggest parts of wedding planning is finding your vision. If your MOH has a good sense of your style, you are more likely to become more excited about the bigger picture. Not feeling understood, or feeling like you hit a creative roadblock is not so fun. Having your maid of honour be able to see your vision as well as come up with cute ideas that match your style only adds more positive light to the whole experience.
- SENSE OF HUMOR
With the wedding planning process being from six months to over a year long, having a good sense of humour is a great asset that will be greatly appreciated. Keeping the bride laughing throughout all the major decisions will keep the bride at ease.
- WEDDING PARTY EXPERIENCE
Although your maid of honour may not have been in a wedding before, it is always a bonus to have someone who knows the ropes and what to expect. A person with wedding party experience will likely be more supportive of the wedding events, instead of asking stressful questions the bride may find annoying.
- HUSTLE AND BUSTLE
A good maid of honour will know how to bustle your dress. Choose someone that has the capability to bustle your dress in a short period of time. Every minute counts on the wedding day, and taking 45 minutes to figure out which string goes on which button can take important time away from your wedding day.
- PERSONAL NEEDS
Choose a maid of honour who will be able to pick up on your bridal needs. Someone who knows you well will be able to pick up on the small details will only add to your happiness. If you’re a crier, she will have the tissues ready. If you are forgetful, she will make sure you to have your clutch close by.
- CONSIDER DOUBLE DUTY
Two is better than one, and that applies to maids of honour too. Spread the love and the responsibilities by having two women to fill the role, allowing them each to play to their strengths and help each other out.
- NO MOH AT ALL
If you’re worried that other bridesmaids might have hurt feelings because they didn’t make the cut, or if you really can’t narrow your options down, scrap the position altogether! There’s nothing saying you can’t get married without a maid of honour, and being diplomatic might be the best choice if it means keeping peace in the bridal suite. Instead of singling out one friend as extra special, put all of your ‘maids on equal footing, avoiding unnecessary drama.
- LOOK BEYOND THE OBVIOUS
Who says your maid of honour has to be your sister or a girlfriend if you’re closer with someone else? Ask your brother or best guy friend to be the man of honour, or look to your family. If your mom is your best friend, ask her to take her place by your side at the altar. Particularly close to your grandma? Just think how adorable she’ll look walking down the aisle on the best man’s arm!
Credits: brides.com,idoknot and honeyfund